Standing atop the rooftop, I see the huge buildings caging me in. People rushing around in their swanky cars below while my heart is gripped in a sudden standstill of nostalgia. This concrete jungle of passing glances and hidden paranoia doesn’t appeal to me as much as I hoped it would have. Everybody wants to stand out, everybody wants to draw attention or everybody is trying to out-do another.
What do I want?
I belong to another world, a much simpler world. A world where people give unconditional love, where a mere glance can comfort and where being humble is considered an admirable quality.
In my minds eye, I can see the glorious mountains surrounding me. I can hear the laughter of people who might not have seen riches as such but are not miser in handing out love. I can feel the aura of the crumbling temple atop the hills where the water is cool and summer winds silently caress your skin. I feel myself running down the steps and reaching the baoli (stepwell) with beautiful dancing figures engraved on the sides telling about history lost to time. The blue water reflects the sun, dragonflies of various colours dance above the water and a small girl with her feet dipped in the water smiles at the reflection she sees in it with peace she has never known encompassing her.
I belong to this world, a world where stars comes out and decorate the sky like tiny, million fireflies. Not this world of dusty roads and nights filled with honking noises. I belong to endless laughter shared with my brother as we tumble down a hill on a makeshift sledge.
I have experienced the thrill of lazying on the river bed with the sun warming and drying my wet body. I have listened to tiny birds with blue-black wings as they kept me company during the lonely hours of the dawn. I have climbed the mountains standing fearless and tall just to reach the top to scream and listen to my voice reverberate.
So, when I feel lost in this artificial world where people seem guarded to me, where people think about profit and loss before helping and find love only to satisfy the primal needs. I visit my memories which heals my lonesome heart, calms my anxiety and gives me hope that one day I’ll return to being the little girl smiling at her reflection in the water atop a lonely hill but with a fulfilled heart.